Ok, so it's been so long since I've posted anything but now I am going to start to write more regularly to keep track of my not so new journey -- my diet!
I have gained so much weight since 2007 and kind of struggled all the way at the top from 70-90kg. Ever since I tipped over 70 for the second time in my life, I have never been able to go below it and it has been 6 years ever since I was 50-55kgs.
Right now I am (as from today) 84.5kgs, standing at 1.6m and with a BMI of 33. 33! I am literally categorised as being an obese person! I am not proud of this at all.
The reason for my weight gain was because of emotional eating, and eating out of boredom. I've procrastinated for way too long and kept telling myself "its just 1kg, I'll lose it tomorrow"...and "tomorrow" never seem to have came at all and the weight had crept on and accumulated.
I wouldn't say I have a bad self image because when I look at myself in the mirror I am not disgusted at what I see or hide behind anything--to some that might be a strength...but for me, it is the biggest downfall because I allowed myself to become how I am today without realising it.
In the last 2 days I've been having heart palpitations which felt like my heart was fluttering and it really scared me because it feels like I could have a heart attack anytime and I really don't want to die being a fat person.
I really hope my struggle will end soon and this will be the last time that I will attempt to lose weight once and for all. Wish me luck!
